When I was a young girl, I had a massive fear. Now I am talking a fear that would keep me up at night! A fear of having a huge Ass. Now, this might sound absolutely ridiculous, but there is a back story.
On my Mother’s side of the family, there is a thing known as “The Bentley Butt”. All of the women are destined to have one. It’s a genetic hand me down that none of us wanted to have, but we get to wear it like that ugly as all shit dress your sister no longer fits. Comments were always made at family gatherings, “Ohh look, you’re getting The Bentley Butt”, like it was a coming of age, momentous occasion. I would always be on the defensive when someone would point out mine, ”No I’m not”, I would say with venom, cursing said family member to a life of walking across fire and brimstone for even so much as suggesting I was falling victim to the family curse.
I was mortified by the idea of having hips that told the occasional lie and a booty. I was desperate to be a waif like, stick figured goddess. That was my holy grail. I didn’t want hips or a butt or boobs! Picture Christina Ricci’s character, Roberta Martin in Now and Then, taping down her boobs. That was pretty much me, but with my ass. For some reason, in my mind, having curves was completely undesirable. When I was growing up, all of the strong females in popular culture were thin. Super models were essentially shoved down our throats and the expectation to look like them was overwhelming! It is really no wonder most girls grow up with unhealthy body image.
Take a look into today’s society standards though, my oh my how the tables have turned! The ‘sexiest’ thing in the world right now is curves. Boobs, Hips and Booty are on the top of the lists of must haves! Today, women are embracing the fact that they have an ass, boobs and hips. Which, for me, is fantastic. It means I am not stuck in this rut of wishing for something that is impossible for me to achieve. I will always be curvy and I am slowly coming to grips with that reality. Funnily enough, my sister and I consistently joke about the fact that we had curves before they were cool. It adds a bit of light to something were were always so ashamed to have!
My best friend has 6 year old daughter and she was recently tellinh me how her beautiful girl is already stressing about the way she looks. She is 6!! What world are we creating when a 6 year old has to be worried about their looks?? Unfortunately, young girls are the most impressionable. They hear every word we say. When we put ourselves down, they hear it. When we put down others, they hear it. They are little sponges soaking up every word we say, every time we whinge about our bodies, they start to pick apart their own because to them, its normal. We do it all the time, so why shouldn't they? Even my 7 year old Son has days where he says to me, Mum, I'm so skinny! Now, my son is like a bean. His father is 6'2", so really it is not surprising that he tall and slender. I have to tell him, Dad was just like you buddy, and look how he turned out. Your time will come.
My best friend has 6 year old daughter and she was recently tellinh me how her beautiful girl is already stressing about the way she looks. She is 6!! What world are we creating when a 6 year old has to be worried about their looks?? Unfortunately, young girls are the most impressionable. They hear every word we say. When we put ourselves down, they hear it. When we put down others, they hear it. They are little sponges soaking up every word we say, every time we whinge about our bodies, they start to pick apart their own because to them, its normal. We do it all the time, so why shouldn't they? Even my 7 year old Son has days where he says to me, Mum, I'm so skinny! Now, my son is like a bean. His father is 6'2", so really it is not surprising that he tall and slender. I have to tell him, Dad was just like you buddy, and look how he turned out. Your time will come.
Every single day our lives are flooded with images of women who are absolutely perfect. Their asses are just phenomenal, all perky and cellulite free, their boobs are up where they are meant to be and their stomachs are like a bloody washboard! Or on the flip side, we see women who are naturally tall, statuesque, slender beings of grace. The clothes they model look absolutely divine, but I can tell you, if I tried to wear some of the things they wear, I would look like a Christmas ham shoved in fishnet tights! It’s about learning to accept that we are not all the same, there is no 'one size fits all'. We are all different and that’s what makes us all so fucking fabulous! Our body shapes, our body types, our height, are all different, yet we continue to crave something that is more than likely genetically impossible to achieve.
I am waiting for the day where we can all just accept what we have been given. Our bodies are the vessel that carry us through this crazy thing called life. Without it, we cease to exist. As women though, we are predisposed to compare ourselves to others and want what we don’t have. Some women who have a small chest, want bigger boobs and vice versa, we will never be completely content with what we have. It’s a major design flaw.
So here’s a thought, take a look in the mirror and instead of picking apart the things you don’t like about yourself, pick 3 things that you adore about your body. Those stretch marks you despise from pregnancy, instead of loathing them, remember the reason why you have them. You created life and your body carried your baby to safety. Those thick thighs, instead of being sad about them, just think, you’re not going to drop your phone in the toilet! Your thighs will save the day. Put a positive spin on your dislikes and I promise, eventually, you will love you, all of you.
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