Anything you can do, I will make damn sure I do it better

Have you ever found yourself a star player in a prize-less competition? Where suddenly with every step you take toward a better you, there is someone actively trying to take an even bigger step to beat you to an imaginary finish line? What exactly is the prize in said competition? Do I get a shiny trophy for coming in second best? I really would love to know, because I think I have missed the ceremony! Look, lets be real. We are naturally competitive as a species and a little competition is healthy I think! For example, at my nightly class with The Empire Bodyshop where I train, there is always HEALTHY, non ego related competition. Its an entertaining watch and it gives everyone a bit of a push to work just that little bit harder. There is no malice behind the competition.

Competition becomes excessively unhealthy when you are suddenly finding yourself having to out do someone at Every. Single. Turn. Unhealthy competition and comparison creates a toxic relationship with the person you have decided to use as a martyr. You will find yourself comparing your successes to theirs in every facet of your life. Did you lose more weight than they did? Check! Did you workout more times in a week than they did? Check! Did you eat less than they did when you went to dinner? Check! Did you get more likes on an Instagram post than they did? Check! You have officially won an invisible race to the land of Douche Bags! Congratulations!

 So, now that you’ve managed to do everything 10 times better than the poor person you decided to “compete” with, are you satisfied?? Nope. You’re not. You never, ever will be!! You will forever find yourself finding ways to compete with them. Things like going on a holiday you know they want to go on but can’t afford, just so you can say you did it first. Buying a guitar that they desperately want but can’t afford, just so you can say you owned it first. That sort of behaviour is pure insanity to me! WHY would you want to actively make someone feel inferior to make yourself feel better? I will tell you why, INSECURITY!!! You are so god damn insecure in yourself that you have to drag others down in order to build yourself up. This is the way you seek validation. Am I prettier than her? Am I skinnier than her? Are my boobs perkier than hers? These constant insecurities that swirl around in your brain make you toxic and you spew your toxicity out everywhere you go.

 Take a moment to think about what it is you are doing when you create these one sided competitions. You are setting yourself up for failure, massively. Although you may continue to excel and ‘win’ this competition, you will end up living a bitter, meaningless life because all of your endeavours won’t be for you, they will be based on you being ‘better’ than everyone else and thats really not a life worth living. Now, I am by no means innocent when it comes to this sort of thing. I have dabbled in my fair share of unhealthy competition, but something I learned along the way was, it did not increase my happiness. I didn’t feel any better when I decided to use someone else as my scapegoat. So once I learned to let go of wanting to be better than other people, I actively work on being a better me.

 If you’re reading this, and you have been blatantly using another persons life and goals in a negative way, please, I beg you. STOP. This one-sided competition shit is what forms a great deal of what is wrong in society, in the health and fitness industry and even in your personal life. The stress and anxiety you cause for people who are fully aware of your behaviour is tiresome and unfair. It might be worth looking into why you feel the need to use this person as your scapegoat. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but if you are inspired by them, use their achievements in a positive light to help set some healthy goals for yourself! The satisfaction of reaching your goals for your own personal wellbeing is far more rewarding than the satisfaction of reaching goals out of spite and malice. Would it not be a more rewarding scenario for you both if you celebrated your achievements together? To create a more positive and healthy relationship between yourself and others, now what a crazy idea that is! I promise you, its a notion that shouldn’t be scoffed at.

Now, for all of you on the receiving end of this sort of behaviour. Please, do not let it bring you down. DO not let it dull your shine or make it look like your achievements have less meaning and purpose. That sort of behaviour says a lot more about the other party than it does about you. One thing I have done when presented with these sorts of scenarios, is offer positivity and congratulations to the other party. I have celebrated their successes so that they feel better within themselves, because in all honesty, insecurities are a killer and while you’re feeling shit about the actions of others, the others are feeling shit about their own situation that they need to bring down others in order to feel better. It’s all VERY exhausting, but helping others through a time when they are lashing out and wanting to rise above others who are succeeding with give you a sense of accomplishment as well as extending the olive branch to bring peace to a negative situation.

 As far as I am concerned, the only competition you have is yourself. You should be actively working on becoming a better you. Whether the direction be health related, fitness related or just simply not being such an Asshole, do it for yourself. You will get so much more satisfaction out of your life if you live it for yourself, and not for the acceptance of others!